So last week, this conversation took place between myself and a first grader.

Mrs. Suereth: If mi lives here on the bottom line, where does sol live?
Bobby  (Not his real name) raises hand
Mrs. Suereth: Yes, Bobby?
Bobby: Mrs. Suereth, did you know that I had surgery last week?
Mrs. Suereth: NO, are you okay?
Bobby: Yeah.  I had to get surgery cause my foreskin was too tight on my...."you know" (points down)

I couldn't believe this exchange of words had just happened in front of 20 other kids.  Of course I had to ask his teacher and the gym teacher about it later that day.  The gym teacher said the kid said to him, "Did you know I had to get my foreskin cut?  I don't know why my parents didn't just have me circumsized when I was a baby like everyone else."

I know, this is gross, but I just can't forget it.  It was too funny.

I love getting sentimental after midnight on the weekend.  I did it in high school, I did it in college, I do it now that I'm a "grown-up" on nights that Herb is out later than me. I use to listen to music, sometimes take a drive, but usually it use to end in a blog.

On this particular night, I find myself reminicsing about some high school friends and crushes, and just thinking how things were and how things are now with those people.  Of course, when I really want to delve into these old memories, I go back to my old xanga entries, or if I really want to delve, I go back to my old Geocities site.  You know, the one that Travis helped me learn how to write HTML for.  Then I open iTunes and click on the Juliana Theory and Sarah McLachlan.

As I read, I hate the lonely, longing, and insecure feeling that was laced through all those entries.  I had great friends, I did things I loved doing, I stayed busy - really busy.  I had a good head on my shoulders, but I knew there was a part of me that was missing, yet I knew it was in God's hands.  It almost pains me to read those old entries sometimes, remembering how sad I was sometimes during these late night sentimental writings.

Here's the happy part. You know what it was?  That missing part?  That thing I was always sad for?

Herb, it was you.

Now, when I read those entries, I see the way God protected me.  All those other relationships that never panned out.  It's really good they didn't.  And all that time, you were there, sometimes evening reading what I was going through, what I was thinking.  We didn't even have a clue then, did we?  I"m glad I didn't know - it would have rocked my world.  I love thinking of the idea of me sitting in my dorm room worrying about who would ever love me for me, while you were just miles, or sometimes even yards, away. 

But now I love reading those old entries, and for a moment feeling that emptiness and loniless, and then I remember suddenly that you are going to be home in like 15 minutes.  You, my HUSBAND. I will pretend I didn't hear you walking in the door and up the steps.  You will come into the office and put your hand on my shoulders.  Then when you kiss me, you will push me back on the office chair, and I'll scold you for almost breaking the chair.  You'll roll your eyes at me.  Then you'll go to the bathroom and check your email while I crawl into bed and sneak in a little bit of HGTV before you come in and want to watch Futurama or South Park.  And I'm happy to watch whatever you want as you rub my back and a fall asleep.

These sentimental late nights alone end so much better now than they did in high school and college.

 I love that you're the answer to my loneliness. Thank you for being the missing piece. And for being the one who comforts me, protects me, loves me for me, gives me security, and rubs my back.  I love you more than I ever thought I could love another person.

Like all of those other blogs - I've got to end with a song quote.  It feels good to be able to relate to sappy love song.

"I will be the answer at the end of the line
I will be there for you while you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty, I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance if you can't look down

If it takes my whole life, I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it, Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know; That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out, You'll still be burning so bright" ~ Answer, Sarah McLachlan